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07-23-2006, 04:42 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Muscle and Strength Boss!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: M&S Warehouse!
Gender: Male
Training Exp: 4-5 Years
Current Goal: Build Muscle
Posts: 7,610
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The Joke Thread
POST YOUR JOKES HERE
I thought it would be cool to start a jokes thread coz I've heard some crackers lately!
I'll kick it off with a few bodybuilding ones...
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Eating the competition
interviewer:"What's the best protein source a bodybuilder can eat?"
Pro:"Another Bodybuilder."
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A female Bodybuilder once injected steroids into her pussy, now she's a muscly c&^t....
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07-23-2006, 04:50 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 179
Rep Power: 5 
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Hahah nice one!!
Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" "Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll take the German".
__________________
I'm a supplement junkie!
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07-23-2006, 04:56 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Just joined M&S
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 15
Rep Power: 0
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Here are some blonde jokes...
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee'
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
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07-25-2006, 05:13 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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Muscle and Strength Boss!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: M&S Warehouse!
Gender: Male
Training Exp: 4-5 Years
Current Goal: Build Muscle
Posts: 7,610
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Top ten ways to annoy your waiter
From the Late Show with David Letterman - Friday, January 13, 1995 with revisions made by John Insor.
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"
7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".
6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"
5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"
1. Three words: eat the check. |
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07-25-2006, 05:16 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 179
Rep Power: 5
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"Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise"
__________________
I'm a supplement junkie!
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07-25-2006, 05:30 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Just joined M&S
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 13
Rep Power: 0
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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Believe in her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her
Give her jewellery,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the earth and back again for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked.
Bring Pizza & Beer.
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07-31-2006, 11:35 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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Muscle and Strength Boss!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: M&S Warehouse!
Gender: Male
Training Exp: 4-5 Years
Current Goal: Build Muscle
Posts: 7,610
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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
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08-16-2006, 08:00 AM
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#8 (permalink)
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Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pretoria, South Africa
Gender: Male
Training Exp: 3-4 Years
Current Goal: Build Muscle
Posts: 2,693
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Q & A - Dumb, but funny...
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it take for four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with onehand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. Wet.
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A: Lunch
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid
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08-16-2006, 11:01 AM
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#9 (permalink)
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Muscle and Strength Boss!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: M&S Warehouse!
Gender: Male
Training Exp: 4-5 Years
Current Goal: Build Muscle
Posts: 7,610
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LMAO...nice one bro!!
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09-04-2006, 04:04 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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Mod
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pretoria, South Africa
Gender: Male
Training Exp: 3-4 Years
Current Goal: Build Muscle
Posts: 2,693
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Nominated as best short joke of 2006......
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.
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