How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.
Did you hear about the Irish helicopter crash?
The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Why do Irish men wear two condoms?
To be sure, to be sure
An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins.
Her Husband demanded to know who the other man was.
Why did the Irishman fall out the window?
He was ironing the curtain.
What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
An Irish electrician.
What do you do if an Irish woman is having a fit in a bath
Put the dishes in.
Paddy and Murphy are walking around looking for work when Paddy sees a sign, "Tree fellers wanted". Paddy says to Murphy, its a pitty theres only two of us.
An Irish woman walked into a small hardware store and told the owner that she needed a new door handle.
He fetched one and asked: "Do you want a screw for that?"
She looked around the store and said: "No, but I'll blow ya for that toaster over there."
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