Mate of mine recently got some new glasses, you know normal at the top but the bottom half magnifies things alot more... Anyway, he has the problem of having slightly off-set ears, so everything he sees in his right eye is fine and everything in the left is much bigger. Anyway, I was walking through town with him the other day and he said to me "Russ, I really need a ****" so, calmly, I said to him "No worries mate, just up that alley is a public toilet, use that" so he walks off... 10 minutes later he comes back with a giant wet patch on his jeans, with shock I said to him "what the hell did you do? The toilet is only up the alley" he explains "Well, I got in there, got my penis out, looked down and saw 2 - one was very big and one was very small - I knew the big one wasn't mine so I put it back"
Russ.